He Who Gives Bread to Someone Else's Dog Loses the Bread and Loses the Dog. (El que da pan al perro ajeno, pierde el pan y pierde el perro.) (10-5)
Let's continue to look at some of the proverbs that come from the Letter of the Year from the Sociedad el Cristo, Palmira, Cuba. This one talks specifically about the tendency some of us have to overextend ourselves and interfere in things that don't concern us.
It's hard to draw a clear line between the desire to help someone and the need to interfere in another person's business. With the best of intentions, we can easily overstep boundaries and get involved in situations that have nothing to do with us. It's hard to sit back and watch other people make mistakes or do things that we consider wrong. When Ofún (10) appears in a reading, it talks about a person who has a big heart and undefined boundaries. Under the influence of Ofún, we can spend all our time helping other people and give away so many of our resources that at the end of the day, we have nothing left for ourselves. We offer help, even when it's not requested, and with single-minded determination, we move in to fix problems that aren't our own. This proverb reminds us that we have to be realistic and ask ourselves why we're acting on behalf of another person, and where is that need coming from? Why do we have to try to fix the problems of the whole world?
It's hard to draw a clear line between the desire to help someone and the need to interfere in another person's business. With the best of intentions, we can easily overstep boundaries and get involved in situations that have nothing to do with us. It's hard to sit back and watch other people make mistakes or do things that we consider wrong. When Ofún (10) appears in a reading, it talks about a person who has a big heart and undefined boundaries. Under the influence of Ofún, we can spend all our time helping other people and give away so many of our resources that at the end of the day, we have nothing left for ourselves. We offer help, even when it's not requested, and with single-minded determination, we move in to fix problems that aren't our own. This proverb reminds us that we have to be realistic and ask ourselves why we're acting on behalf of another person, and where is that need coming from? Why do we have to try to fix the problems of the whole world?
Proverbs aren't meant to be taken literally, so the neighbor's dog isn't necessarily a real dog. The neighbor might not be a real neighbor, but simply an acquaintance. Our desire to give bread to the neighbor's dog is a symbol of our overextended boundaries. We're giving bread - the staff of life, some say - to someone else's dog. Metaphorically, we're running the show for someone else, taking over responsibilities that aren't ours. The dog isn't ours, and we don't have control over it. The neighbor can lock the dog up, give the dog away, move away and take the dog, or otherwise remove the dog from our sphere of influence. We have no say in what happens to the dog. We can give it bread, but we can't determine the dog's fate. It's important to remember that these proverbs come from an ancient culture, before laws existed about animal rights, before bags of dog food were available on supermarket shelves. The proverbs come from a culture where people experienced economic hardship from time to time, and perhaps lacked food to feed their own families. To take on the ownership of a pet, like a dog, required thought and planning, because dogs need to be fed. To take on the responsibility of a neighbor's dog is foolish in this light, because we're putting ourselves in a situation where we're making sacrifices (giving up our bread) for a dog that we don't own. There's no reward for our generosity. We'll lose the bread, and we'll lose the dog, because the dog wasn't ours in the first place.
Take some time to consider what's going on in your life? What responsibilities have you taken on that aren't your own? The proverb doesn't ask you to go to extremes and stop helping people. It doesn't tell you to put a halt to generosity and compassion. It just asks you to think about what you're doing, and draw some limits. No matter how well off we are, our time and resources are limited. Are we using them in the best way? Are we trying to help people who are at the fringes of our lives rather than people who are very close to us? Are we helping everyone else and neglecting ourselves? Regla de Ocha is a religion that encourages people to behave in sensible and practical ways, to keep feet grounded in reality and see things as they really are. Interfering in someone else's business is not always about generous impulses. Sometimes it's about the need to control. Sometimes it's about confused priorities. Sometimes it's bad judgment. Maybe you need to focus on your own needs and your own problems, and let other people deal with their issues by themselves. Don't turn a blind eye to the needs of your family and very close friends, but don't try to save everyone you know. The world is a big place, and there's only so much of you to go around. Be sure your energy gets used where it will do the most good.
The letter of the year has meaning on both a personal level and a more universal one. In terms of how this odu might affect the world at large, we need to think about how governments, organizations, or particular groups of people are, perhaps with very good intentions, overstepping boundaries and trying to "fix" problems that are not their own. Again, this is not to say that no one should ever help anyone, but to keep in mind that sometimes its best to let people resolve their own problems. The wisdom comes in knowing when to help, and how.
The letter of the year has meaning on both a personal level and a more universal one. In terms of how this odu might affect the world at large, we need to think about how governments, organizations, or particular groups of people are, perhaps with very good intentions, overstepping boundaries and trying to "fix" problems that are not their own. Again, this is not to say that no one should ever help anyone, but to keep in mind that sometimes its best to let people resolve their own problems. The wisdom comes in knowing when to help, and how.
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