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Accept your role in life

9/9/2012

1 Comment

 
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Parents bless children.
(9-5) Parents don't ask their children to bless them.  Los padres no piden bendición a los hijos.
Many people who were raised in a Latino household know the custom of children asking parents to bless them before the leave the house or go to bed at night.  This relates to the idea that parents are in a position to protect their children, and the parents have some kind of authority over their spiritual well-being.  Naturally, it's understood that God is the one who ultimately protects us and sends blessings, but the parent can ask for God's attention on behalf of the children.  In Santería, the same relationship of protection and trust exists between godparents and godchildren.  The godchild asks for the blessing of his godparents as a way of expressing faith in the religion and acknowledging the godparents' role as spiritual guides.  The blessing can take the simple form of words exchanged, or include physical gestures such as an embrace or a "lifting from the floor" when godchildren prostrate themselves before their godparents in the foribale, the most formal kind of salutation between initiated priests/ priestesses.  To be blessed, embraced or lifted from the floor is a way for the godparents to pass on some of their aché to their godchildren.  It shows at once a reverence for religious elders, and a desire on the part of elders to protect and strengthen the spiritual development of those who are younger. 

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Foribale is a sign of respect
Like most proverbs, this one goes well beyond its literal meaning.  It reminds us that the parent-child relationship comes with clearly defined roles for each person to play.  Whether we are talking literally about children, or about people who have less experience, less knowledge, less spiritual evolution than others, it's important that the parents (or the persons with more experience) occupy the position of authority in the relationship.  This isn't to say that parents should be dictators and micro-manage every aspects of their child's life.  Or that parents should fail to listen when a child expresses an opinion or voices a concern.  It means that the person with more experience and more senority needs to assume the responsibility of protecting, instructing, guiding, helping the younger, less experienced person.  The relationship is better for both parent and child when each one knows his or her place, because there's no confusion about who is who in relationship to each other.  When the roles get reversed, or it's not clear who's in the position of elder, the world seems upside down and chaotic.  This proverb reminds us to be realistic in our expectations, and not look to others who are less prepared, less qualified or less sure of themselves to take care of us.  It also cautions us that we need to step up and take responsibility, and not look to others to fix our problems for us.  Whether we're talking about a family situation, a work situation, or a religious relationship with elders, we need to remember what our role is and occupy it to the best of our ability.

Osá (9) is a sign that talks about betrayal and bad feelings between people who were once close to each other.  This proverb suggests that problems can be avoided by remembering the natural order of things and respecting the way the world works. It's natural that bad feelings develop when people have expectations of each other that aren't met.  But, you have to ask yourself, are you meeting the realistic expectations others have of you?  Is what you expect from them realistic and within their possibilities?  Sometimes the children of Osá like to pretend they don't understand or don't know how to do something as a way of getting other people to do the work for them.  This proverb reminds you that there are some things that are in your realm of responsibility and you shouldn't try to avoid them.  Do what corresponds to your position in life, and don't look to others to assume your duties or carry out your role. 

1 Comment
Carolyn
4/26/2013 06:00:43 am

Alafia! It is nice to see this aspect this odu talked about. Often we focus on the spirits but Osa talks so much about moms and oche is so much about family. Really well written. I love a non-cryptic interpretation!

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    Author

    Eni Acho Iya is a practicing Santera, daughter of Ochún. She's also an academic with a PhD in Spanish and Latin American culture.

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